04 October 2011

Treading

I seem to be having a lot of days where my emotions and feelings are on a roller coaster. I do well for most of the day, and then boom! Downwards we go! It's not only starting to bring my mood down but it's also starting to irritate me. WTF? I'm not an overly sensitive person. I can take criticism and feedback and I know how to work these to make myself or whatever it is I am doing better. Normally that is. Lately I feel like any small comment that someone gives me is an insult or something. Lately I just feel like even though I try my hardest and push my limits, it's not good enough. I am not good enough.


The rational part of my brain knows this isn't true. But irrationality and insecurities take over and I am left feeling like the universe is against me. I'm not a negative person. I thrive on positivity and happiness. I surround myself with people who are like-minded, so why is this ridiculousness beating me down right now? I feel like I am stuck in a holding pattern and no matter how hard I try to move forward something keeps holding me back. I can't figure out what that is. I know that like breeds like, and I am trying to keep busy and positive and happy but I've been struggling. 


I'm trying to keep my head above the water. Treading. I don't like this. Yet, I don't know how to fight it. I guess for now I just keep treading. 

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