I've have been on a posting streak these last few weeks. Guess I just have a lot of things to say. Or a lot of things to unload from my mind. Maybe a bit of both. The cooler weather tends to bring that out in me. Not sure why, but I guess it's a good thing. Perhaps it's because things start to slow down and go back into a routine from the summer months. More time to think and process and breathe. Although I am not a fan of the cold, I don't mind the fall weather or the changing of the leaves. For me, I feel like fall is the true new year because that's is when everything starts to change. Colours, weather, routines. Everything. Fall prepares us for the coming months of hibernation. We settle in. It's a time to put old projects to bed.
Kind of like the novel assignment that I am working on for school. It needs not only to go to bed, but I think I need to bury it in the backyard. Deep in the ground! I have lost my passion for the topic. It no longer excites me to write it and I am sure that's why the last few assignments haven't been that good. I totally screwed myself over on this one. There was a sneaking suspicion deep inside my head that said I should do something else, but no. Ego took over and wouldn't let me quit. I hate quitting. I hate when people tell me that I can't do something or when they tell me I should quit. It's just not in me to be a quitter. But in this case, I totally should have. Trying to write something that you have no passion for is like trying to cover your ass with a leaf. People see what your trying to do, but they also see right through it. That's what I am doing in struggling to finish what I started. And now, I think it's too late to change course.
Guess I better suck it up and get to work. It's just so un-motivating, for lack of a better word, when you know that you could care less about the project at hand. The only thing I care about is getting a good grade and that seems to be slipping away with each minute that ticks away while I avoid what I must do. Ugh... Off to the plank!