10 May 2010

So much still swirling in my mind. The thoughts rush in. They rush out just as fast. Every single one of them about things that are the same, yet so different all at once. Somethings are related and others are not. The whirlpool that is my mind is constantly twirling around and around and around.
Some of the things I think about are within my control when I come up with the solutions to the problems that I come across. Most of the things are not though. Yet, these are the ones that I ponder most. Things that I really have the least control over. Too many of them to write here. It's not worth getting into. The thoughts can be fleeting anyways. I just feel that sometimes they take over my mind and leave nothing else for me. Nothing else for me to concentrate on. Nothing else for me to think of. I can't.
Many times in the past I've let these intense feelings and thoughts take over me. They seep into my emotions and daily life. This time, I am trying to just witness and not feel them. I am trying to find out about why I feel the way I do about certain things. Why sometimes the smallest things drive me insane and bigger things, don't.
I wish I could say that I know everyone goes through times like these and I am sure it's true, but I can only really speak for myself.
Sometimes though, I wish I knew what I was talking about...

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