This onslaught of roller-coaster emotions is really wrecking me. I'm fine one minute and the bawling my face off the next. Seems like any little comment made whether it's to help me or just an observation or not meant harshly at all, just has this adverse effect on me and my mood changes. I can attribute it to being stressed. It's probably why my stomach has been acting up again. Seriously. Nothing is staying with me. I feel weak (physically) and drained emotionally and I know that is in part due to lack of adequate nutrition. But that's not caused by lack of trying. I've been eating clean lately, but my food just doesn't want to stay in my system. It's so frustrating because that causes me more stress which makes the cycle worse. I'm fighting a losing battle. Working out is out of the question. Lack of proper nutrition with stress placed on the body by working out is NOT a good idea. I've been there before and that just makes you sick. Again, no fun.
So lately I've been one big ball of no fun. Guess I have just been feeling a little lonely and a little insecure. It's hard not to feel insecure especially when I am stressed. I try my hardest but it just isn't good enough. Which in turn makes me feel not good enough. I'm not saying that this is a true fact. I am good enough, hell I am better than good enough, but it's just not always easy to see that or truly feel that. Especially there are so many things to deal with. Unanswered questions and feeling ignored piled on top of insecurities just compounds the problem.
I just wish the negativity would go away. I'm tired of this downer attitude. I try to push it away with positivity but it's just not working lately. Hopefully being done this assignment will help with that.