The Bell Jar (Inspired by the novel of the same name)

Stuck in the Bell Jar.
It hovers over head.
Its descent threatens.
Ever present.
Always hovering.
It lifts, teasing with it,
dangling -
Happiness.

What is this?
This feeling that flows from it?
The Bell Jar.
It closes you in.
Suffocating.
You can't do anything.
Fighting -
Yourself.

The only one you fight is yourself.
Closer it falls.
Falls towards -
you.
Tripping you fall.
Into it's space.
The space that threatens with one colour.
The colour of sleep.
The colour of darkness.
It threatens.

The Bell Jar.
Your only comfort.
The comfort that you know.
Perhaps you need it.
It washes you with its familiarity.
You hold it close.
Afraid.

Afraid to leave.
Happiness is on the outside.
It's scary.
Who will you be?
Where will you go?
The Bell Jar -
descends.

What happens now?


I wrote this poem a few years ago, and recently found it amongst some "notes" on Facebook. It's true to how I am feeling now. No idea why. I just do. Lately I've been questioning everything that has been going on in my life. Emotions have been washing over and through me. Tears always threaten to fall. I smile to show the world that I am strong. Inside though, I feel far from it. I feel like I am screaming. There are so many things that I want to say to people, questions I want to ask... I just feel them all swirling around inside. I just don't know....