My faith in humanity gets shattered more and more each day. People hurt you and they lie. They hurt others and they kill. Kill bodies, kill hearts, kill souls.
Wolves, sharks and snakes aren't scary. They are animals. The only animals that truly scare me are those in the human race. The two legged beasts that wander this planet looking for power and domination over others. Conquering but never caring. Gaining but never winning. The world is dark. The hunters lurk. Waiting. Stealing.
My heart and soul hurt and can't take much more of this pain. I constantly feel numb. This world is not a happy place. The world cannot be a happy place. I put on my happy face because only moments in time warrant the response. Happiness is fleeting, not forever. I sit in a state of numbness. Staring blankly out of eyes that have cries oceans of tears.
The pain never really goes away. I wish it did. I wish it away with all that I am and all that I have. One day I hope to smile a real smile again.
Today is not that day.
I have always been told to put my faith in God. God will make things right. God only gives us what we can handle. God is good and merciful. Blah blah blah. Why should I put my faith into something or someone that does nothing to help his so-called creations? Because we can handle what we are given? Ok, as humans maybe. But what about those who are sick and fighting for their lives? Like babies? What lesson could a baby need to learn? Oh right. His parents mad mistakes and the baby is their redemption? Pretty heartless and pointless if you ask me. What kind of God lets that happen? What about those who do good in the world? What benefits do they get from this God? A chance at the afterlife? Ppfffft. Moot point of you ask me. What lesson have I learned from "God" lately? Well, that people are cruel. Or my favourite lesson must be that people you love will eventually either leave you or die. Hmmm, thanks God. That was a great lesson. Are finished teaching it to me yet because five deaths in two years seemed to hammer it home quite nicely.
My heart is dark and my tears have been shed enough for one night.
Sleep should come soon. I hope.