I don't even know what to say right now. The delete button has been my friend. The stress has been dumping itself upon my shoulders. I'm trying so hard to make things work out but sometimes it seems that I just can't. I feel like I always fall short. I try so hard but the things that I want always seem to be out of my grasp. I try my best. Do my best. It never seems to be enough. Staying positive, or trying to, keeps me semi-sane, but there are moments when that seems futile. There are so many things in my life to be grateful for, and believe me, I definitely am. Sometimes it's just hard to see the positive when you're in a moment of self-doubt.
Today has been a day full of self-doubt. Self- doubt, self-consciousness, self-reflection...
There's just a lot to think about. A lot to do. Planning. Goal-setting. Achieving. I just can't let those "self" inflicted feelings get to me. I've always thought that it's good to let yourself feel negative things just so that you know what you need to do to turn things around. It's easy to tell someone else to do that, but when it comes to doing it myself, it's always a bit more difficult. Especially when I feel what I've been doing is not quite good enough. Then I wonder if I feel this way dealing with myself, do others think the same thing of me? That I'm just not doing enough? Usually that's not the case. But it's hard not to think that way when I think about how I feel about myself.
This too shall pass. I just need to remember that the feeling always does. I just have to stay strong.
I will. I have to.